Max Headroom 
Author: Tyson Rek
Date: June 30th, 2023
Category: Non-technical
ONLY A GAME
Gather around my fellow Nineties Brothers and get ready to turn back the Way-Clocks as we board the express train of yesterday moving backwards at full steam through the green warp zone time tunnels all the way back to The Good Years. Back to the days before the internet when life was more simpler more whole some and stretched onwards like endless summers. Back to the days when young inquisitive minds seeked top shelves encyclopedias, back when Adidas snap pants and K9 collar wallet chains were all the rage at the roller derby, and back when you would read playboy magazines pilfered from your Dad. (Yes, ‘read’- Ed)close your eyes and breathe a little, you have arrived. Welcome Back to the Good Years. The sun beams down on you and its the beginning of the end of school holidays kids everywhere have ears to the ground listening to the rumblings of the Big N bandwagon hauled by a stampede of drueling Yoshis.
We all remember the 16-bit fisticuffs – that defined our generation – came crashing to a close ( no pun intended- Ed) with the Sony Playstation been around for a while now. The Sega Saturn was out too but nobody really knew anything about that, rather then get involved in the 32-bit war zone The Big N instead bided it’s time behind the scenes planning it’s next move against this fierce competitor. Their next gaming system used the power of SGI special effects seen in Jurassic Park and Terminator 2 According to an article in the UK N64 magazine it was code named: Project Reality. Complete top secret play testers fiddled with prototype controllers in cardboard boxes during special gaming demos. And it was mentioned that Ultra 64 is more powerful then the computers used during the moon landing. These were in the preview articles, later The Ultra 64 later turned into Nintendo 64 was going to be a world wide release but as we all know that didn’t happen and it came out in Japan first and it would be almost two years away from reaching our sunny shores. March 1st, 1997 the Nintendo 64 is launched, problem was nobody could afford it.
NINTENDO DREAM WORLDS
After many months of pestering my parents, showing them hype inducing reviews in magazines like N64 and Nintendo Power, trying to convince them I would be the happiest boy on earth and you’ll be the-best- parents-ever if you’d just buy me one, doing more chores around the house and saving up pocket money, and even mowing the neighbors lawns and trimming hedges. On the eve of my twelfth birthday I got a mysterious present. I stepped into my room and there it lay on my bed. I held the wrapped rectangle up and wondered if this must be the new Game Boy Pocket my little brothers been hyped about? After a fervor of unwrapping, I found myself to my surprise staring at everyone’s favorite mustachioed plumbers smiling face while he soared high above the mushroom kingdom planetoids, you know the one. I couldn’t believe it. I held Super Mario 64 in my hands, time froze and was still. Some where at the back of my brain capturing the moment and storing it in the time capsule of childhood memories. Lost for words I couldn’t speak, after nearly a whole year of waiting it out on the hype train we finally reached the station, but when the high wore off I found the hype train careened off the tracks landing in a paddock surrounded by farm animals. You see my Ninty Brothers it’s only the game. That’s right, just the game. Only later ( not much later – Ed) I realized this is like living on a farm in the middle of nowhere and receiving a skateboard under the tree with no skate park in sight.
Christmas is an entire year away and that’s how long I’d have to wait until we could afford our own Nintendo 64. And as you all might know an entire year is like a berzillion years to a hyped up boy foaming at the mouth for all things Nintendo. I might not have the Nintendo machine but at least I have the game box I reasoned and more importantly the instruction manual. Remember when gaming booklets were more then just a black and white warranty cards? When the instruction manuals were professionally crafted full of wondrous colour, interesting text and those pre rendered Mario pictures? When the games story is shown in the manual because it wouldn’t fit into the game like The Hyrule Fantasy on the NES? Back before you could jump on the internet and read game reviews from IGN (when their reviews were still reliable – Ed) the instruction manual was all the information you needed to know about the game and if you wanted to know more you’d seek the golden hype generating words and screen shots that spilled out from the glossy pages of trusty gaming magazines. Back when game journalist thrived with integrity and gave honest in depth reviews of all the latest games. Back when the quality control was still around and you could make informed decisions based on the reviews being presented. Back in The Good Years when professionals played the games all the way first before giving honesty reviews. 3. Every night I sat up in bed and poured over the instruction manual cover to cover as if hoping I would find some hidden secret clue like a hot line number written in invisible ink that I could ring and get a free N64 and then I studied the manual again hoping it’ll blast my brain out of a cannon and into the sky of 64 powered Dream Worlds. Once I even went so far to sleep with the game under my pillow thinking the Game Fairy would flutter through the window and leave a Nintendo 64 at the foot of my bed.
It never came and the chill small hour winds made many cold nights. Stupid Gaming Fairy. That’s the last time I listen to the sage wisdom of my uncle. The Super Mario 64 box stood on my desk by itself far away from my collection of Sega Mega Drive games and surrounded by a fortress of N64 magazines. Mario tributes papered four walls of my room like you wouldn’t believe like heavy clouds shrouding blue skies. The N cube 64 logo above my bed. I used to sit on my gaming chair and stare at the blank TV and imagine I held the N64 M shaped controller in my hands pretending to play Super Mario 64 on the grey convex screen of my analogue TV. The creator of Mario, Shigeru Myomoto, once said (at least he might of said – Ed) the true canvas they worked on is the imagination of the player, when he’s away from the game thinking about it. Thanks Shigsy the problem is I have the bloody game just have no way of playing it! I played for around half an hour just staring at the screen imagining being Mario and fighting goombas and racing koopas and collecting all the power stars. The game I played on my head canvas were vastly different to the actual game, mind you, in my version Mario could morph into different animals and throw power stars like ninja shurikens. Mr Myomoto take notice! ( he was the kid who wrote to gaming magazine giving them crazy game ideas- Ed) The door opened and Dad stepped into the room. He stood in the center scanning the walls and seeing me staring at a blank TV screen. “Why are you obsessed with Mario? After all son it’s only a game” Then he walked out and I could swear I heard him chuckling “only a game? What kind of sick joke is that!” I thought Then I went back to my game throwing power stars at ambling goombas pretending those goombas were Dad.
THE VIRTUES OF PATIENCE
In hindsight I don’t know what you would call giving an obsessed kid only a game for his birthday with no way to play it? Some kind of cruel prank to play on pestering kids? A way of saying work hard for the things you want? or some kind of hard lesson on the virtues of patience? Good things come to those who wait, and wait (and wait some more – Ed) I can tell you my Nineties Brothers it was one hard slog waiting an entire year until I could play a game that seemed like the most important artefact in the entire existence of mankind. But thats not all, there where whispers of kids at school, bigger kids who were playing Super Mario 64 before us. We couldn’t believe it. We needed to find where these kids lived and wait for their house lights to wink out then we would sneak into their living rooms quiet as mices and pilfer their N64 machine. I even drew up design documents and everything. And yes I did look like Mario in a cat burglar costume and my younger brother looked like Luigi. But luckily it never came to such shifty shenanigans because I decided to grit my teeth and wait ( a whole two months – Ed ) instead. That’s right. Our local Civic Video did not just rent movies and games but now, our hyped up eyeballs discovered, they rented Nintendo 64’s! All aboard the Hype Train CHOO CHOO!
ALL ABOARD THE HYPE TRAIN
“Dad this is the Hype Train! step on it!”
Dad stepped on it and the diesel powered engine roared and we went flying down the streets while acrid smoke billowed from the exhaust like industrial smokestacks. We were riding in the back of our classic Nissan Patrol
“Do you want to get up here and drive?” Dad said
“yeah okay I’ll drive” I said about to climb over the seats
“what? Your too young to drive”
“Yeah but I reckon I could”
“Not until your older son” He said
I didn’t care I was too excited. Nothing makes sense when your at the fever pitch of hype.
no longer did my brother and I have to endure the grueling, and some might say even cruel, wait for the N64 we could just parachute out of the hype train and go hire the machine out instead. Take that lessons in virtue! The Classic Nissan Patrol rolled into the bay out the front of the Civic Video store and we spilled out and raced through the entrance while Dad still wasn’t out of his seat belt. We bolted through the entrance and the Civic video store clerk looked up at the amazing whirlwind boys. A large T 800 cardboard cut out greeted us saying: BE KIND AND REWIND! but we were too hyped to pay any notice.
“We are here for the N64!” we shouted together
The Japanese clerk looked us over.
“Ah yes I’ve been expecting you”
My brother and I swapped glances
“You have?”
“You are the Rek Boys?”
“Yeah that’s us”
“Excellent. You are our first customer to hire out this most excellent state of the art gaming machine” he said
CIVIC VIDEO
The movie ratings commercial played out the bolted speakers in the top corner of the ceiling. Majestic Jurassic Park, Back to the Future, Terminator 2 and Goldeneye posters were displayed on the walls. The Game
Rental section took up two isles. Sega Mega Drive and Super Nintendo along with PlayStation games. The Multitude of VHS covers filled the shelves like hidden treasures in forgotten tombs. The sun shined through the window bathing the clerk in a mysterious light. To anyone else he’s just some guy working behind the counter but to us he shimmered with magical qualities of a strange man that gave kids tours of chocolate factories. The Japanese Video clerk donned a head full of black shaggy hair chesire grinning at us from behind the counter and I could of sworn I’ve seen him somewhere before. ( but where? – Ed) It wasn’t hard for him to see the friday evening excitement rippling through us
“You boys are in luck, the Nintendo 64 just arrived this morning, some would say it’s been waiting patiently for you” he grinned Waiting for me?! I’ve been waiting for it! for ages! I thought The clerk clapped his hands and bent down and pulled out a silver box and placed it on the front counter. He did this with the attention and care of a scientist handling a small suitcase nuke. We watched him in stunned silence slip on a pair of gloves and proceeded to break the hermetic seal. He undid the clips, one by one and time stood still and verything seemed louder, I could still recall the sounds those clips made when the box opened and my Brother and I could swear steam hissed to the ceiling, and then, in all of its hyped up glory the brand new Nintendo 64 was revealed.
“Now boys you cannot remove the console from the box because its screwed in there tight”
My brother and I were busy admiring the controllers held in our hands, the M shape, the analogue stick, the z trigger button. It felt much better then I imagined.
” What games would you like to hire?”
I brought Super Mario 64 along with me as if I expected to be playing right there in the store.
“This is my game! It’s the only game I have! I’ve had to wait months and months and months to even play it ” I said
The oriental man stared at the cover of the game then looked at my Dad and Dad could only shrug his shoulders
“Ah yes that game, that game, you are going to have a fun time playing that game my boy” He said
“I’d say! You know it got a 96% in the N64 magazine!” I said
” Good thing that’s your only game because that game is already hired out” he said
” Oh yeah? my little brother and my Dad want to hire out the new star wars game, do you have that?”
“Shadows of the empire? Yes we have a copy available”
“and we will hire out Mario Kart 64 too. It got an golden star in the N64 magazine! Did you know that?” I said
The Civic Video Man could do nothing but nod his head while looking at my Dad who was busy studying the back of the new star wars game.
” Is it true we can take down an AT AT walkers in this? My Dad said
“Yes sir it is most true, not only that but you can fight Bobba Fet in epic jet pack battles!”
“wow really? That’s awesome. ” Said the other boy with us other wise known as Dad.
We all looked at the silver box laying open on the bench. The Nintendo 64 encased deep inside the indented foam bringing to mind a kind of trophy case. The sleek designed machine looked like a beefed up Sega Mega Drive than any Super Nintendo. The cords were bundled with plastic ties and neatly stored. The first controller was slate grey while the second controller a mach black, like the machine itself.
When Dad finished paying the deposit on the machine the oriental man waved us away grinning and made hand gestures like that famous man from Nintendo in one of my gaming magazines.
“wait, could that of been? Nah how could it be?” I shrugged it off
My Dad took the silver suitcase and loaded it into the back of the The Beastly that’s what we called our classic nissan patrol We clambered in, Dad slammed the door, and the hype train went blasting full steam out the station. Next stop: Nintendo 64 City!
We were so excited we could barely speak instead I caressed the silver suit case that sat on my knees like some kind of furry creature. My brother sat in silence looking through the instruction manual of the new star wars game eyeballs loading with excitement.
” We going to play this game first, right Dad?” said my little brother
“Right son. Star wars is first. I can’t wait to see that game in action”
“You have told me an awful lot about your gaming machine but tell me why does it not use CD’s?”
“Because CD’s have loading times and the Nintendo 64 doesn’t believe in loading times! Jeez Dad get with the times”
They wanted to play star wars and I frothed at the eyeballs for all things Mario, but I’d had to wait all this time what is around an hour more I reasoned.
When the hype train reached the end of the line, we poured out of the car and whirl winded straight into the house the excitement rippling through us like an industrial site on a Friday afternoon. We flew into the living room and Dad followed and we set up the N64 right away. Once we were set up and ready to for action my little Brother did the honors and placed the Star Wars cartridge into the gaming slot and we switched it on. After all this time the time was now and we just couldn’t believe the time had come. The graphics. The sounds. It was Bigger than Ben Hur alright much bigger!
After we were done flying A wings above planet Hoth’s icy tundras, shooting down drones, shooting lasers at AT ST walkers and lassoing the legs of AT AT walkers. We just couldn’t believe the incredible graphics our TV was displaying. While my little brother played all I could think about is soon my lessons in the virtues of patience will be over ( What ever that is – Ed)and I will be well on my way to earning my first power star on the greatest game ever made: Super Mario 64.
Dad watched us play.
“Wow son these graphics are incredible” Dad said
“They sure are. Still think it’s just a game?”
He said nothing. (that’ll teach him- Ed)
In the end I collected all the 120 power stars before christmas rolled around and by then I’d been reading about Goldeneye 64
I showed him the article while frothing at the mouth ” Dad look at this! I can’t wait to play this game”
(oh no not again- Dad)
THE END
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